


Tempora Mutantur, Nos et Mutamur in Illis

by susiel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Post-War, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:34:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23460307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/susiel/pseuds/susiel
Summary: The times change and we change with them.Remus and Tonks survived the war, but could their marriage survive the mundane?Another character made it and decided to live in the muggle society for a change.
Relationships: Severus Snape/Nymphadora Tonks
Comments: 9
Kudos: 17





	1. Actress and Psychiatrist

**Author's Note:**

> When I was young I root for Remus and Tonks sincerely.  
> I truely believed they would live happily after if they had survived war.  
> I'm much old now and know better. I don't see their marriage lasts. Rest assured, Remus does have a happy ending in this alternative universe. He is my all time favorite.  
> \---------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
> Warning: English is not my mother tongue.

"Well, well, well, how convenient it is for a Legilimens to establish himself as a renowned psychiatrist in muggle society!" she recognized the man waiting for her behind the desk the moment she entered the office. It was Severus Snape. She wouldn't have dreamed of it. After so many years of avoiding the magical community, she ran into Snape. Yet it made sense for him to live in a non-wizard environment after the war. No one would trust a spy, let alone the murderer of Albus Dumbledore.  
Nonetheless, she was impressed by his clever occupational choice. An accomplished Legilimens could easily find out the patients' psychological problems. Without even asking.  
However, her psychiatrist was appalled at her remarks. He stared at her in disbelief, as he was trying to figure out who the hell she was.  
The woman took the seat across him with unbelievable graceful and sniffed, "I reckon that it's beneath you to take a dose of Polyjuice Potion. Constant vigilance, Snape, if you don't want anybody to recognize you."  
Snape, who went by the name of Shawn Prince now, checked the appointment once again, on which written in black and white that the patient should be the famous actress, Susiel Pond, who had been in the industry for almost 20 years. No one had ever suspected she was a witch. There was just no way she could know that he was a wizard capable of brewing Polyjuice. Considering he had no friends, either dead or in prison, she must be an acquaintance. But who could she be?  
Snape studied her more carefully, using his best observation. The woman was in her middle thirties, but women's ages were hard to tell nowadays with all those cosmetics, not to mention she was an actress. He had watched her work on TV and the big screen. Some of her roles reminded him of Narcissa Malfoy, the elegant and graceful woman who was kind of a friend. That was the main reason he took the case when her former shrink referred her to him. He wanted to meet her in person. There she was, sitting in front of him, with an ironic expression on her beautiful face. Yet she couldn't be Cissy. Cissy was dead, long gone, with her husband, in that damned war.  
"Identify yourself." He demanded, reaching for his wand in the drawer.  
"No wand needed, Snape. Surely something has crossed your mind." The woman said wryly, more a resemblance to Narcissa now, as her golden hair completely turned platinum when the last word dropped.  
A name dawned. "Nymphadora! Gone missing after the war. People said you were killed." Snape's voice trailed off. Nymphadora Lupin, the Metamorphmagus married a werewolf. Yet he couldn't relate the tall, graceful woman to that petite, clumsy Auror. He had every reason to be an outcast of the wizardry society. Truth to be told, he enjoyed life much more in the muggle world. With his expertise, he had made a fortune and owned a fine social status. But what could be her reason? How could she leave her beloved werewolf behind after she went through so much trouble getting him? Not that he cared. Then, why she went through that much to get him in the first place remained a mystery to him.  
"I mean no harm. I didn't know that you are my new psychiatrist. A mere coincidence I may say." She returned to Susiel's world-known appearance in the blink of an eye.  
Snape asked, "How did you become Susiel Pond after all? She has been an actress before you finished Hogwarts!"  
"Stealing people's identities, that's what we shapeshifters do for a living. Just like you Death Eaters, mining human suffering for gold. " She drawled with heavy sarcasm.  
"Nymphadora, surely you could show your true form in front of me."  
"Perish the thought then. It is Susiel Pond to you."  
"It didn't occur to me that you hate your previous life that much." He commented.  
"Don't you like living with muggles? Oh, those naive muggles, somehow adorable. They still believe with a wand in hand, you can easily wave all your sorrows and troubles away while you and I both know better." She drawled, in a singsong voice reminding him of Bellatrix Lestrange.  
Amusingly, Snape found sarcasm suited her well. She had changed a lot. They all did. There was no trace of that colorful young witch left in the woman. She is more of a Black now, dark, round the twist, and with a hint of insanity in her amber eyes, an updated and combined version of her evil aunts.  
"I gather you need a psychiatrist to address some personal issues and I happened to be one of the best in the area, Ms. Pond." He said matter-of-factly and emphasized her name.  
"With the help of Legilimency, no wonder you are the best. Yet I must sincerely advise you against the idea of performing it on me, or my lawyer will eat you alive."  
"I see. You prefer the conventional way. May I kindly suggest that we start our first session now? I'm on the clock." He indicated her to the timer politely, wearing his best customer-serving smile. Threaten by a witch with a lawyer, that was rich. He could really use the humor in it.  
"I am fully aware of that. Rest assured that I am more than capable of paying my bill. No matter how expensive you are, Snape." She walked to the couch in the corner and laid down naturally.  
"That's Doctor Prince to you. Your history says you suffer from long-term memory loss and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Quite common in actresses, I'd say. I won't be surprised that you will develop depression eventually if you stay in the business."  
"Believe it or not, performing suits me well. Come to think of it, my entire life is a show, playing different roles, so why not perform for good money and be appreciated?" The irony and bitterness in her voice were too thick to be missed.  
It didn't require a keen mind to figure out that her marriage with that werewolf didn't work well. A happily married woman wouldn't have abandoned everything she had and blended in with muggles. He immediately felt sorry for her, of course, more out of obligations instead of sympathy. Yet deep down, he felt somehow connected to her, as a double agent, he had his fair share of performing.  
"Ms. Pond, what do you feel like to talk about today?" He decided to play alone, pretending she was just a client and treated her like others since it appeared that she preferred her current life.


	2. Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After 7 sessions in 3 months, Snape finally made some progress with his unexpected patient.

"You do realize our sessions are going nowhere without you talking or me doing what you forbid, Ms. Pond." He broke the silence with his silky voice.  
This was her 7th session. From the day they met in his office, Nymphadora had made it quite clear that the therapy was merely a part of the impersonation.  
Quote "I just made things up with my formal shrink. Consider it as a practice of improvisations, also adding some interesting stuff to the character. Surely, we could skip the dance. " Obviously, the woman had an eccentric concept of interesting stuff.  
Most sessions had passed in pure silence since she just laid on the couch with her eyes shut, while he sat in the armchair facing the couch, having no option but to observe her. Sometimes she fell to sleep but her morph never dropped, not a tiny bit.  
"I thought you'd appreciate it. Good for your business. You get paid without working. " She replied wryly, in her usual position.  
"Bad for my reputation though. Why else do you think Mr. Capaldi referred you to me if you're such a delight? No psychiatrist wants a patient whose condition never improves." He would never lose in a contest of sarcasm.  
"Gather he got fed up with all my nonsense. Pity, I told him the truth yet I was diagnosed as delusional disorder and paranoia." She drawled. "Just be glad my condition won't deteriorate, and I'm granting you the permission to brag about having Susiel Pond fixed."  
"I won't put my bet on no deterioration, Ms. Pond, and there is such a thing as integrity." As a psychiatrist highly valued professional ethics, Snape set up his mind to give her appropriate treatment. "Care to repeat your nonsense with Mr. Capaldi to me? If it is not too much trouble."  
She opened her eyes and inquired with an arch of an eyebrow, "Determined to make progress, are we? Or is it my silence too boring?"  
"Care to play?" Slowly, she sat up and said in an unmistakable-seductive way.  
"Doctor-patient confidentiality, Ms. Pond. Much as I appreciate your generous offering, I must painfully decline your invitation. With all due respect, I don't fancy the idea of your lawyer having my guts." He remarked politely, looking straight into her eyes.  
"I don't recall I am a patient of yours. Wand?" a mock-baby voice smirked as she finished her transformation.  
Nymphadora was seriously damaged! Snape had come to that conclusion on their first encounter in his office. The scene of Bellatrix extending a hand for his wand in an alluring manner was just another confirmation.  
So much for doctor-patient confidentiality. She wanted to play? Fine, he would play along. Bellatrix Lestrange was definitely not his patient.  
He got on to his feet, headed for the desk, and fetched his wand. Without saying a word, he passed her the wand.  
"Now we're talking." She took it, closed her eyes, concentrated on channeling with the unfamiliar wand. A few minutes later, she let out a content sigh.  
Raised to her feet, she bridged the distance between them. With Bella's iconic madness in her dark eyes, she lifted Snape's chin with the tip of the wander, "Miss me, Potions Boy?" She whispered to his ear.  
"Incarcerous." Just a slight flick of the wand, Snape's limbs were tightly bound by black ribbons.  
They had it in Bella's sadistic and dominating way, just long enough to fill the session. When the timer buzzed, Susiel Pond dropped his wand and walked out of his office.  
He didn't realize it was a full moon until the next day. By checking all her previous appointments, he noticed she always made an appointment on the full moon.  
Three months had passed since Nymphadora ran into Severe Snape, and they finally made some progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unleash your imagination for what they did in the 7th session, I'd rather not elaborate on it.  
> Snape knew Nymphadora wouldn't harm him so he lent her his wand. Severus did have strong curiosity, or he would not have followed Remus into the tunnel when they were students.  
> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think about my story.  
> Next chapter is coming soon.


	3. Just Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus Snape was all about business, no nonsense!

"I'm afraid I can't continue my therapy unless you provide remote services. I got a role that requires me to travel a lot during shooting." She informed him in her 19th session, "See you in 6 months then, Doctor Prince."  
"Dose Apparate accidentally slip your mind?" Snape scolded her, "Continuity is important for psychotherapy."  
"Can't do long distance without a wand. Mine was lost long ago. Haven't you noticed that I always borrowed yours when in need? Lack of observation is a weakness for your occupation." She was not in the play mood today, which meant it wouldn't be a colorful session.  
She never ceased to surprise him. He got a new understanding of how desperate she wanted to escape her past. She wouldn't buy herself a new wand!  
"Just borrow mine like you always do." He regretted the minute he finished the sentence.  
"No, I'll be gone too long. You may need it." She rejected without hesitation.  
"When will you set out?" He asked in his most casual tone.  
"Right after my next session." She had already closed her eyes, indicating the silence should fall.  
Of course, she would make the next one. She had set it on the next full moon. Snape believed that she would never miss her full-moon appointments if it were within her power, and somehow, he had a feeling that she was sad about breaking the routine.  
Yes, Nymphadora had built a routine by now. Her appointments were not necessarily on a full moon, and not every session was a colorful one. Yet every full moon had been a colorful session since the seventh.  
Bella always visited him on the full moon. That was to say, Nymphadora was still in agony on the full moon. She had not talked about her past, why she left the wizardry society, or how she became Susiel Pond. She just visited him session after session.  
Snape doubted she would ever talk about those things, though he had his professional hypothesis. No, he didn't need his expertise to know that Lupin was the root of all her issues. The werewolf had fucked her up hard.  
Her 19th session passed in silence. She left his office when the timer buzzed.  
Snape decided to purchase a new wand for Nymphadora as she rejected his offer, for valid reasons, of course! He even made a list:  
1\. It was a brilliant business investment, not a gift of goodwill. With a new wand, Susiel Pond could continue her therapy, which meant Dr. Prince would get paid for his expertise.  
2\. Nymphadora had made progress, which meant his effort finally paid off. It would be a great shame if her condition stopped improving due to a mere inconvenience, such as the lack of a wand.  
3\. Fixing a famous actress like Susiel Pond would boost his reputation, attracting celebrities, more business. He could raise his consulting rate. More money for Severus Snape!  
Suffice to say that the purchase was purely for business, nothing personal. Bearing this in mind, Snape made a trip to the Ollivanders in Diagon Alley with clean conscious. Unlike Nymphadora, he had no problem visiting the wizardry community when it was necessary. He just didn't associate with them much, not that anyone cared to keep in touch with him, per se.  
He knew nothing about Nymphadora's former wand. It was quite personal, and they were not close enough for wand-disclosure. It didn't matter, though. She had borrowed his wand on some occasions and found no challenge wielding it. Truth to be told, she cast delicate spells with it, creating enough restriction yet never once blocking the blood circulation.  
Basically, all he needed to do was to find himself another wand. If he felt comfortable with it, so would she.  
He was glad that a young salesclerk greeted him instead of the old owner. He always found Mr. Ollivander annoying for the old man had to recite the properties of his wand the moment he entered the shop.  
"Good sir, how do you like your wand?" the young man asked him politely.  
Great, they also changed their sales model. It would be much easier for him to find Nymphadora a wand.  
"A thin wand with perfect flexibility, not too long." No matter what shape she wore now, he remembered her as a petite girl, a Metamorphmagus who could be anyone.  
The salesclerk inputted the criteria in his computer and located an inventory number. He pulled out a box from the rear shelf, fetched the wand, and handed it to Snape.  
"9 inches, birch, werewolf tendon..."  
Snape flinched at the word "werewolf" and highly doubted if Nymphadora would appreciate a wand cored with werewolf tendon. Maybe she would if the tendon were dissected from a certain werewolf, namely Lupin. He allowed himself to enjoy the sarcasm for a moment.  
"My apology. I'd like it werewolf free." He came up with a better idea," and suitable for Apparate."  
This time, he got a perfect one. Now he just had to wait for the next full moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got myself a wonderful Beta-Reader, @lzqsk. She has translated a lot of SS/RL fanfictions into Chinese. Click for her work https://archiveofourown.org/users/lzqsk


	4. Pattern broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Full moon session again, Dr. Prince made another progress with his patient.

As usual, Nymphadora was on time for her 20th session. Punctuality was one of her virtues.  
Snape sat in the armchair near the couch, waiting for her. She went for the drawer directly for the wand. To her surprise, there were two wands, and one was remarkably new.  
"I found my spare wand the other day. You can borrow either one you like and keep it for as long as your therapy lasts, which I presume you can continue. " Snape explained before she asked and watched her closely for her reaction. Ask me no question, and I tell YOU no lie.  
Nymphadora picked up the new wand, studied it for a long, long moment. Finally, she sighed, "I'll take your spare one. It feels more suitable for Apparate." She twirled the wand in her delicate fingers, channeling its innate magic, and synchronized it with her own. Her face looked concentrated. After a strip of black ribbon emanated from the tip, she said, "Thank you, Severus." In a soft voice, barely audible.  
Seeing her appreciating his small gesture, Snape felt relieved. He was concerned that she might be too stubborn to take it. He pretended not to hear her words and commented, "I'm impressed by your dexterity. Twirling wand around like that, one may think it won't take a second before you drop it, Nymphadora."  
She was apparently in a light mood because she didn't protest his use of her real name. Still playing with the wand, she said in a careless tone, "You have my first therapist to thank. Behavior therapy, a true miracle, totally cured my clumsiness. It's a pity I can no longer work with Ms. Song."  
Snape tended to ask why she couldn't see her anymore but thought better against it. Nymphadora had changed her identity to someone before Susiel Pond. Of course, she must change her therapist. Maybe that was also the reason she didn't flee from his office at their unexpected encounter. Should she change her identity again, she wouldn't need to source a new psychiatrist this time. Making the best from the worst, sophisticated and calculating, he would give her credit for that. Muggle therapy really did her good.  
"Tell me more about your work with Ms. Song." He lured her into revealing more of her past. His voice had an almost hypnotic effect.  
She was lying on the couch now, talking about how Ms. Song trained her out of her clumsiness, toying her new wand with sparks of joy in her amber eyes. Her voice was carefree, remotely resembled that mischief young student in his classroom.  
Snape thought to himself in delight: She was talking about herself now, talking about that clumsy witch instead of the elegant actress. Also, there was no sign that she was to follow her full moon routing, transferring to her deranged aunt. It was definitely a significant progress. The wand worth every Galleon he spent.  
As much as Snape enjoyed the recreation that she gave him in the full moon sessions, he valued nothing more than his patient's improvement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A twist will come in next 1 to 2 chapters. I know things are moving slowly in the story, and it's a short chapter, but please be patient with the story.  
> I really like Severus lied about the wand. Sure, Nymphadora knew it was a bald lie. She just had the courtesy not to nail it.  
> Sincere thanks to my dedicated BETA-Reader @lzqsk, who helped me debug.


	5. Deterioration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missing a session sometimes led to deterioration. Dr. Prince would not turn a blind eye to his patient's suffering.

Nymphadora promised she would stick to her therapy as best as she could before left, and she was a woman of her word.  
One could hardly keep a regular schedule when one was traveling with a film crew, yet Nymphadora managed at least to honor her full moon appointments. She had four sessions after the film began shooting, and three of them were on the full moon.  
He was expecting her today, no need to mention the lunar phase, though. He got her phone call right after his office hour began.  
"The director changed the plan. It will be a whole day shooting. I can't make it today." She sounded irritated.  
"I can wait for you. Rate doubles outside the regular hours, of course." He added the last sentence hastily, didn't want to sound too eager.  
"I'm afraid you'll wait in vain. There is a midnight scene in the woods. Wonder when it ends."  
"Sounds like an ordeal. You have my sympathy."  
"That's the price we pay for fame." She drawled with a lighten voice, "Tschüss!"  
With that, she hung up.  
The day passed uneventfully. He had six patients that day, including two breakdowns. Not too rough, compared to hers. He finished work at 4：00 in the afternoon and went home. He prepared a simple supper and spent the evening reading in his study.  
The book was so fascinating that he could not put it down until 2:20 am. He decided to go to bed, stay up late certainly wouldn't improve his already wrinkled face. After all, he couldn't change his appearance at will.  
She showed up three days after the full moon. Apparently, a full moon without therapy took its toll on her. She looked as beautiful and elegant as usual, the perks of being a Metamorphmagus, yet her mood was much darker than the last time she left.  
Much as he wanted to make a sneering comment such as "I was under the impression that the lunar phase impacts only werewolves, but clearly, you are an exception," he acted under his better judgment, which was keeping his mouth shut.  
She retreated to her original state, lying on the couch in pure silence with her eyes closed.  
Snape sat next to her and noticed something different. Her slightly trembling fingers suggested she was scared. That was rare. He had never seen her in this state.  
"Ms. Pond, would you like to talk about the things scare you? You're perfectly safe here. No one can harm you." He used his most reassuring voice, which was part of his well-established trademark, hoping she would respond to it. Say something, do something, anything! Even changing to Bellatrix is better than THIS!  
Still, nothing, except her fingers were trembling more visibly. Nothing changed at all. Snape began to weigh the consequence of using Legilimency on her. As time went by, the temptation seemed more appealing.  
"Ms. Pond, did something happen during your shooting in the woods? Whatever it is, it's over now. You are with me. You are perfectly safe. Nothing can harm you here, I promise." And I mean it. He just repeated those words again and again, not louder than a whisper.  
He could not use spells on her, for lawsuits were as bad as AZKABAN, and lawyers were the muggle version of dementors.  
As long as she remained in the current shape, namely Susiel Pond, all physical contacts were forbidden, not even holding her trembling hands. The wretched patient-doctor confidentiality guaranteed it. His hands were tied, figuratively, not literally. In fact, he would be much relieved should she had the energy to perform Incarcerous right now.  
Words were his only resource in this situation, and he just kept saying them, hoping against hope that she would give any response.  
Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock. The session was near its end. He was to fetch his wand as there was no way he would let her go like this. He just had to try one last time, "Nymphadora, no one can harm you on my watch."  
Nothing. That was it!  
"At least allow me to pour you a glass of whiskey before you leave." He raised to his feet, turned his back to her, and headed to the minibar. He recalled he had some Veritaserum stash, hoping it was in shelf-time. A potion was more subtle, better not to get caught at all. He really hated lawsuits, time-consuming, and all.  
"so you can put three drops of Veritaserum in it? I don't think so." Her voice froze him on site.  
Recovering from the shock in an instance, Snape matched to his original destination, poured himself a shot, and returned to his armchair.  
"Constant vigilance, are we? I gather Mr. Capaldi was right about the paranoia part." He took a sip of the liquid meaningfully. "I must say Moody had a negative influence on you."  
Hearing her old mentor's name, she spared a half-smile, "Be that as it may, Severus, I'd kindly turn down any food or drinks you offer. And sorry for letting you see me like this."  
"Perish the thought. I am a psychiatrist, and I've seen far worse. You are not even close. Besides, there is nothing ashamed of being scared. Care to share your story?"  
"Maybe next time." The timer buzzed at the exact moment.  
"May I ask when you are planning to have your next therapeutic session exactly," He tried very hard to hold his professional tone. Be patient. She is YOUR PATIENT! "considering your crazy shooting schedule." Not so much success, apparently.  
Nymphadora had once mentioned that her ability had refined through time. She was supposed to have perfect control over every tiny muscle by now, and she clearly tried very hard today, yet failed.  
"We shall see." She got up slowly and walked out of the door.  
Through the window, he watched her teetering to a limo in her high heels. It dawned on him that her condition might be far worse than it showed. She couldn't summon enough energy to maintain the necessary focus for long-distance Apparate. That might explain why she visited him three days later instead of the next day.  
On her limo back to the shooting site, Ms. Pond received a text message from Dr. Prince with a private address attached. "Apparate whenever you need. Home-visit is also optional."  
A genuine smile appeared on her now peaky face. "Charge me whatever you see fit." She texted back without a second delay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: Being Snape, he tended to blow up things with women. Old habits die hard.  
> I enjoy write from Snape's POV, just too much fun.  
> Again, many thanks to my BETA - reader @lzqsk, she is the best!  
> If you like my story, let me know. Thank you, readers!


	6. Metamorphmagus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being Snape, he said things he really should not have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is inspired by Jaxon's fabulous work "Her Dirty Secret".  
> I'd like to dedicate it to her for her generosity: let me borrow the idea of impersonating sex and the concept of "This was how things were, he thought – how adults behaved. Not every relationship was filled with passion every day, or whispered words in the night. There was no need for big declarations, or statements of fact. She was here, with him, and that was enough."  
> In case you haven't read it. http://www.archiveofourown.com/works/10791687  
> If you happen to be a Chinese reader or learner, I've translated it with author's permission. My Chinese is way better.中文读者或中文爱好者可以点击我的译作，放心，我的中文文笔没问题:https://archiveofourown.org/works/23536294

Since business-hour restriction out of the way, Ms. Pond's therapy became more regular, and Nymphadora started her midnight visits. Snape was pleased that they no longer had experimental sessions in his office. As much as he enjoyed them, he'd rather resume it for professional use only.

Summer replaced spring, followed by autumn, and eventually became winter. He had sex with various identities, some from his past, and others he didn't even have a clue. He never made any requirement for a specific character. She just picked whomever she saw fit.

She dropped by now and then in different shapes. Her refined skill amused Snape. Ture to her words, her ability matured through time. She never lost her morph even in the most brutal sex and could impersonate it from every aspect imaginable.

When she was Narcissa, she was restrained, stoical, and submissive; she was wild, savage, and dominating, always with a twisted smile on her heart-shaped face, as she wore the shape of Bellatrix. Aunts seemed to be her favorite, another peculiar habit of hers.

They never negotiated the midnight arrangement, yet both parties followed unspoken rules: no cuddle, no small talk, no kissing on the lips, no staying for the night.

He was content with the thing they had, whatever it was. Nymphadora required nothing from him and vice versa. He had no intention of building an orthodox intimacy with anyone.

How could he? Maybe the more accurate question should be with whom? For women in the muggle world, it wouldn't work without tons of lies and explanations, and he had done his fair share during his double agent career, enough for a lifetime! As for women from his past, well, barely anyone available left.

At the very beginning, he had indulged himself with delusions of tasting his acquaintances when she wore their shapes, pretending they were still alive. Given her perfect skill, no challenge at all.

Yet as time went by, he had got rid of those delusions without even noticing when. No matter what her appearance was, he always knew it was Nymphadora, his former student, ex-colleague, and current patient, although he hadn't seen this shape yet.

There were just too many telltales for him to ignore. Her limbs were ice-cold even in the hottest summer; she never made eye contact with him during sex; his name never once came out from her mouth when she came, and others he didn't care to list, like **_No Intercourse in Her True Form_**. It's reserved for someone, of course!

Otherwise, things were as close as perfect. Their therapy kept making progress. Although Nymphadora hadn't talked about the reason why she left the wizardry community nor her shooting in the woods, their sessions were no longer filled with uncomfortable silence or sadistic impersonation. She talked about Ms. Pond's life and her early days in the muggle world.

Occasionally, he shared his struggles in fitting into the post-war life, like finishing required courses at a relatively old age, getting his practicing license, and promoting his business.

Ms. Pond was generous enough to invite him to a few exclusive parties and introduce him to her social communities as "the most brilliant therapist". She told vivid stories about how he fixed her up, none of those stories were real, and some even made him blush. Her praise knew no boundary. How she managed to make things up without batting an eyelid was beyond him. Long story short, his client list grew at a rapid speed.

Better yet, she laughed with him when they were left alone, saying those people would buy anything she said. Laughter hardly went hand in hand with her nowadays.

"Thank you for coming, Severus, I had so much fun." She always thanked him as she walked him out of the villa. He was astonished and deeply touched by her consideration. At times like these, Ms. Pond's elegant face blurred in his vision, he saw that mischievous, intelligent witch, and wondered what Nymphadora would look like after so many years.

He felt comfortable with Nymphadora. It required no lie, no hush up, no explanation to maintain. No effort needed from his part to make it work. Just being himself was enough. It was entirely novel for him.

Sure, she was in a struggling phase, but everyone had issues. Dr. Prince was more than happy to walk her through them, for that was what a decent psychiatrist signed up.

He should have been content with what he had and let it be. He shouldn't push his luck. He shouldn't have brought it up.

"You know, if my face is too unpleasant for you, we can always introduce Polyjuice to our intercourse, although the outcome may be debatable. The potion isn't supposed to be used for animal trans-" He never got to finish the sentence, yet the implication was unmistakable.

"Excuse me! I beg your pardon?" She snapped with her back to him, busy with putting her stocking on. She was about to leave.

"You always avoid eye contact during sex!" Snape pointed out accusingly.

"One shall never start looking as one may not like the findings." She said evenly without turning to him.

"What is _THAT_ supposed to mean?"

"One should never ask the question as one may not like the answer." Another dry reply.

"Stop talking nonsense! Just tell me why you never look at me!" He growled

"Tell me, Severus, who will I see if I look into your eyes when you come?" She answered his question with another question. She almost finished dressing.

 _What is she talking about?_ Snape had no clue how to answer that question, so he said nothing.

Taking his silence in a wrong way, Nymphadora reacted quickly.

The moment Snape saw her hair turning red, he knew things went terribly wrong.

In the blink of an eye, her morph completed. She turned to face him, looking straight into his eyes, and inquired," is this?"

Snape gasped as he met a pair of green eyes, burning with fury. He was too shocked to say anything. She had never taken this identity until now.

Lily Evans was staring at him, sneered wryly, " That is what I expect! "

Without another word, she Disapparated, leaving her wand behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Severus is totally the jealous type. He often lets his jealousy get the best of him. Also, I think he can function well in social occasions. Antisocial doesn't equal social-awkward.  
> I'd apprentice you share your version of Snape with me:)


	7. Emergency contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape didn't hear from Ms. Pond until she was hospitalized.

Ms. Pond didn't inform him that she would switch to another therapist, so he could count on seeing her at the full moon session.

_"In case you haven't noticed, she DID leave the wand behind." In his head, Dr. Prince reminded him._

**_You can borrow either one you like and keep it for as long as your therapy lasts_ **

_"She just forgot it. It's a little bit tense back then." Snape refused to think that way._

_"We shall see." Dr. Prince smirked._

She didn't show at the next full moon.

_"Maybe she is not in town. She is on some TV show, and the schedule is crazy." Yes, that must be the case._

_"She hasn't called since your LITTLE tension."_

_"She's busy! She will visit next month!"_

_"Sure, keep telling yourself that, and it will eventually come true."_

Another month passed, still nothing from Ms. Pond.

It didn't matter. She was just a client. Clients came and went, and they had the right to do so. Dr. Prince could totally afford to lose a client.

_"Sure, I can lose Ms. Pond. But what about Nymphadora?" Dr. Prince asked._

_"WHAT about her? It's not like she didn't do it before. It's her habit, I'd say. Wondering what the werewolf did to deserve THAT."_

_"You DO understand bringing Lupin up is what got you into trouble in the first place?"_

_"Maybe that is what shapeshifters do: they just steal another identity and disappear from people when they feel like it!"_

_"Certainly, she won't change her current identity because of YOU."_

_"Get lost, you git!"_

_"You do realize you are talking to yourself now? It's NOT healthy, my professional opinion."_

Dr. Prince was right. Only crazy people heard voices in their heads and talked back. It's called schizophrenia.

_"It's about time you accept that she won't come back. Acceptance is the first and crucial step for recovery." Dr. Prince told Snape._

Dr. Prince was a good psychiatrist, yet he was wrong about one thing: There was nothing to recover from. She didn't break him.

What's done was done. Life went on. Just another woman walked, Disapparated to be accurate, out of his life. No big deal. Been there, done before. Snape could handle it well, as well as the last time.

" _You exceed yourself this time, casting a woman away without actually insulting HER._ "

He took a Valium, muted his phone, and went to bed. Unlimited prescriptions were one perk of being a psychiatrist. He accepted that she would not visit today, and he had enough from Dr. Prince. A dreamless sleep was all he needed.

He woke up in the morning at 8:00. There were 11 missed calls from an unknown number, between 6:20- 7:40; the last one was twenty minutes ago. Who was so desperate to reach him in the early morning? It couldn't be his patients, as he only gave them his office number. Hesitantly, he called back.

It was from a hospital in Yorkshire.

Ms. Pond fell from her horse when shooting a daybreak scene in the moor and was hospitalized. They tried to contact him since Ms. Pond had named him as her sole emergency contact and granted him the legal power to act on her behalf before she was on tranquilizers.

"Would you please come and we can talk about her condition? It's complicated."

"I'm on my way," he realized one important thing, and requested, "No invasive test or surgery on her before I get here, please!"

He couldn't image what would happen if a Metamorphmagus were cut open under the impersonation. He doubted anyone knew. Come to think of it, he barely had any knowledge about Metamorphmagus except some random bits Nymphadora mentioned inadvertently in their conversations. In fact, he couldn't recall any books or records in the topic. He always considered her as a normal witch with a rare gift. It never occurred to him maybe Metamorphmagus were different from human beings in broad aspects, until now. **_Maybe that was where her illusion came from in the first place: the werewolf might be a more appealing companion!_**

What if she couldn't maintain her morph? She once said her magic would fade if she were in a fatal state. Her current identity was at the stack, along with the life she strived so hard to build.

 _Visit my deathbed if you are so keen to meet Nymphadora again **.**_ It was supposed to be a joke. Now it was happening.

He shouldn't have taken the Valium! He should take Adderall to stay awake and wait for her just like the last two full moons, then he would not have missed the calls and wasted 1.5 hours.

No, he had to think straight. All those "should have," "what if," would do Nymphadora no good. He cast out all the regrets and uncertainties and tried to gather the concentration required to perform a long-distance Apparation without Splinch.

Nymphadora trusted his best judgment. She knew he would do what he must when the time came. That's why she made him the emergency contact, and he had no intention of failing her.


	8. Werewolf Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nymphadora showed her true form and a lot of things made sense now.

Before Apparated to Yorkshire, he had informed his secretary to cancel all appointments today and made a mental note to charge Ms. Pond for all his loss later.

He got to the hospital twenty minutes later: had to wait long enough so he could make a passable excuse for the rapid presence.

"Thank god! Mr. Prince! I was so worried! Thank you for coming. I'm Lisa Miles, Ms. Pond's assistant," the girl greeted him. "You got here so fast." Her burden seemed eased the minute Snape entered the room.

"I happened to visit a village in the area." He made it up halfheartedly and hurried to her bedside to check on her. She was surrounded by medical devices, having a blood transfusion and some fluids, just as he required, support therapy only. There were bruises on her face, and her hair was a mess. Apart from that, Ms. Pond's shape was in good condition, for now.

He needed to send the girl away soon, in case Nymphadora lost her morph, better play safe. But he just had to check something up with her.

"What happened?"

"Ms. Pond was shooting a scene before daybreak, you know when the moon is still in the sky, and the sun hasn't risen. Yesterday was a full moon."

 _I am quite aware of that. Those muggle directors are big fans of the full moon, consider it a sign of beauty, romantic, and all. Those idiots, they just don't know what monsters are out there!_ He thought wryly to himself, but nodded with a polite smile, encouraging her to continue.

"Everything was going well. Ms. Pond is good at riding horses. She never requires a stunt; I'd say she is better than most of them. Oh, you should see her on the horse, such a wonder! She is a natural, I tell you."

Snape regretted that smile immediately. The woman would never get to the point.

"How did she fall?" He prompted.

"A wolf, sir. We were near a forest. The wolf ran out of it and jumped to the horse. The horse shied and lost control. It ran like crazy with the wolf on the trail. Ms. Pond was so brave. She didn't scream and tried to restrain the horse. But the wolf..."

Snape didn't need to hear more. A werewolf attached Nymphadora. Muggle always mistook a werewolf as a wolf. But why? He had so many questions entangling in his mind.

"Ms. Miles, you may go now, I'll take care from here. It was a long night for you. You are frightened, and you need to rest." Dr. Prince could be very persuasive, not that the girl needed much.

"You are so kind, Dr. Prince. No wonder Ms. Pond speaks highly of you, all those recommendations." Lisa was so glad to leave, "sir, there is one thing..." she trailed off, "no, you must think I am mad."

"Do tell, please."

"There's a moment that I believe that wolf wasn't aiming to get the horse. Its target was Ms. Pond. I know it can't be true, but..."

 _That was what I thought._ _She couldn't just Disapparate when the camera was on. It was a wonder that she managed to stay alive without a wand._ "You're not mad, just tired and scared. Go back and rest. Everything will be fine."

Lisa thanked him again and left.

"When you get better, which you will, you and I have a lot to catch up, young lady!" Snape scolded her, knowing she couldn't hear.

Before he stepped into the ward, Snape had spoken with her attendings. Nymphadora broke several bones, with internal hemorrhage and unexplainable disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC). She was in a hysteria state when she was admitted, so the doctor put her under tranquilizer.

Snape drew his wand, "Repello Muggletum", on the second thought, he warded the room, no Apparation or Disapparation allowed. _Nymphadora cannot Disapparate away from me again, ever with a wand!_

The third spell was for detection. Just like her attending said, a few broken bones, and the uncontrollable bleeding. He would leave the bones to the muggles: no need to raise unnecessary suspicions, and _hope the pain would teach Nymphadora a lesson-never leave your wand behind_! He tried a few frequent healing spells on her, but she was still bleeding inside, no sign of remission. Now he was a little worried. What if frequent spells didn't apply to a Metamorphmagus? With a pang of fear, he ventured an experimental charm that he once read on an ancient scroll.

The spell backfired and aggravated her condition visibly, and now she was losing her morph: body shrinking, hair turning brown.

She moaned as if she tried to fight the tranquilizer off. The shrink was retarded, and her hair began to turn back golden. Even in this state, her subconscious wanted to keep the current shape. Suddenly, blood oozed from her eyes, nose, and mouth profusely. The unexplainable DIC instantly became explainable. Her body exhausted all her vitality on a trivial function, namely staying in Ms. Pond's shape. Consequently, other vital functions, like coagulation, failed.

 _Talking about what people would do for vanity!_ Nothing would work until she returned to her true form before It's too late. He required her cooperation to save her from killing herself. Ironically, she couldn't die as Susiel Pond, even if she traded her life for it.

"Enervate!" with a flick of the wand, he cleaned the residual sedative.

Slowly, she opened her eyes. As she did so, she began to groan with pain.

"Listen carefully, you are bleeding inside, and it won't stop unless you drop the suicidal morph now!" Snape snapped, "Do it or die, your choice. I don't care. I'll see your true form anyway, either you alive or dead."

It was wrong to lash out at a dying patient, yet he felt entitled. She deserved it for what she had done so far!

Silence fell. They just glare at each other, like a competition. Finally, Nymphadora looked away in concession, while Snape maintained his gaze.

Unlike her usual transformation, which finished in a blink, this time, it went in slow motions. It started from her limbs and torso, which became shorter and smaller; then her golden hair turned mousy brown, the color Snape loathed for an obvious reason; at last, her heart-shaped faced began to emerge. She looked the same as he remembered in the Order's time.

But it didn't stop there. Her body was withering to a skeleton covered with pale skin, and her face, oh, he couldn't connect this face to the young Auror. She was beyond recognition with those horrible scars mauled by sharp claws.

Seeing enough Greyback's victims and nearly been one himself, Snape recognized werewolf wounds when he saw them.

He just couldn't believe what he had just witnessed!

A lot of things made sense now: her fake death, her persistent morph, and her full-moon sessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million thanks to my wonderful Beta-Reader. Love her!  
> Hope my readers enjoy the twist at the end of this chapter. Does it surprise you?  
> I'll be thrilled if you let me know what your think^-^


	9. Cover up

Rage rushed over him. Snape wavered over shouting at Nymphadora for her idiocy, strangling Lupin with bare hands for hurting her like THIS, or walking out the door and leaving her to her own device. Each seemed so tempting right now.

 _"Don't say or do something you will regret later. Be patient. She is a patient and my patient."_ Dr. Prince was always the wise and rational one.

He followed his advice, took a deep breath, and did none of the above. Instead, he put a detection spell on her again for a thorough examination, while avoided her face deliberately. _She could have maintained the last morph and fooled you, but she trusts you enough to reveal all. Just keep that in mind and focus on the priority!_

The alleviated DIC was the silver lining.

"You know, if my face is too unpleasant for you even to comment..." she broke the uncomfortable silence with a weak, hoarse voice.

 _Of all the things possible in the world she could have said, she chose the one trigged our last tension. The woman literally has a twisted sense of humor._ Although still angry, he could hardly suppress a mild smile and turned his eyes to meet hers. But they didn't make there as they stopped at a healed laceration on her throat.

 _LUPIN HAD TORN HER THROAT OPEN!_ That was the last straw. To hell with restraint!

"Give me one good reason. Convince me why I shouldn't send an owl to the Ministry of Magic immediately to report a werewolf offense, attempted murder to be accurate. I may need a perfect one." He said coldly and slowly, every word with viciousness.

"Patient-doctor confidentiality." She supplied calmly, though barely audible.

Her calmness irritated him no end. "I am willing to trade my practicing license for Lupin's one-way ticket to AZKABAN." He growled.

"It's not him!"

 _Liar! She is still defending him, lying for him!_ Snape could take no more. He threw her wand at her, then forced open the door, intending to rush out.

A chilly breeze drifted through the opening and cooled down his fury boiled brain.

_"_ _Nymphadora can't use a wand with her broken arms. She will deteriorate if she tries to impersonate Susiel Pond, or lose her current life if she doesn't. She can't make it with your help."_

_"Why should I help her? She can summon her beloved werewolf for all I care; oh wait, that's the same werewolf tried to murder her! Yet apparently, it didn't stop her from protecting him!"_

_"You know WHY."_

A stinging realization dawned on him: **_Because I don't want to lose her even if she is mooning over another Marauder_. **How pathetic!

Snape closed the door quietly and walked back to her bedside. On the white sheet, she looked peaky, battered, and helpless in her true shape. She didn't try to morph away those terrible scars, or failed to do so.

Swallowing his anger reluctantly, he said through clenched teeth, "I'll help you maintain this identity without suicidal transformation, I promise. The magic drains you. No morph until you fully recover. Agreed?"

Measuring him with her weary eyes, she nodded, "Severus..."

_Please don't mention the werewolf. I can't handle it right now._

"No more words, especially in this voice. We can talk about it later, and I expect full disclosure." Feeling it might be too harsh, he added, "You should rest now. I have a business to attend to."

He unwarded the room while kept the anti-muggle charm, then turned to the door. Before leaving, he said as gentle as he could manage, "And, I don't think your face is unpleasant, Nymphadora." He almost believed he heard she sobbing and had the decency not to turn around to check.

He paraded his way out of the hospital, making sure as many people saw him leaving as possible: Ms. Pond didn't need a rumored boyfriend, and Dr. Prince can't afford to get involved with a patient.

Considering Susiel Pond was an accomplished actress, it would be a considerable challenge to keep his promise.

Severus Snape always embraced challenges!

One hour later, he Apparated back to her ward with a detailed plan and some necessities.

"Better let your bones healed by muggles. Three valid reasons: fewer suspicions, insurance compensation, and paid sick leave." He said matter-of-factly.

"Not to mention teaching Nymphadora a lesson." She mocked in his voice. After drinking a blood supplement potion, she regained enough energy to change her voice.

"I assure you it NEVER came to my mind. And I'd appreciate it if you take my potion only for convalescing." He managed to keep a straight face and wondered whether the Auror program provided Legilimency lessons.

"Call your assistant and tell her to decline any visit request on your behalf, using any excuse you see fit."

"Sure."

"I prepared some Polyjuice for you, just in case..."

"Polyjuice doesn't work for Metamorphmagus. I'll cast a Confundus." She interrupted him, "Would you please be so kind as to repair my wand arm? For convenience's sake."

The Polyjuice Potion was designed for human use only. His heart skipped a beat, realizing Nymphadora had just told him something important in a subtle way. He decided to ignore it and shelved it with other things that he didn't want to handle right now. _We can talk things through later._

"Do you want to inform someone? Andromeda, for instance?"

"No!" She rejected immediately, "I'd put her through a lot. No need to add salt to the wound."

"As you wish."

All was settled, with a little help of magic, like tampering documents and modifying memories. Snape would like not to elaborate on it.


	10. Full Disclosure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the full disclosure.

Snape received a message from a certain patient requiring a long-due home visit. Nymphadora was in her convalescence, so she followed his advice: No Apparate nor unnecessary morph. She barely walked out of her villa.

She sat on the wool carpet before the fireplace in the living room when Snape arrived at 20:30, who was pleased to find Nymphadora instead of Ms. Pond.

He took an armchair across from her and noticed how small and fragile she was in her real shape. With those permanent scars, she seemed like a ragged doll, innocent, yet broken beyond repair. No known magic could heal damages caused by dark creatures. He drowns in sorrow while burnt with rage simultaneously.

"So, full disclosure, are we?" He brought it up without small talks. Half a month had passed, together with his patience.

"May I offer you a drink first? I know you prefer Absolut Vodka."

"I prefer to stay sober during our conversation." Although he was touched that she had noticed and remembered his preference, which he never told her in person.

"No alcohol, then, tea? Coffee? Cocoa?" she offered.

"Nymphadora-" He warned her in his best threatening tone.

"Don't blame me for trying, Severus. Should have tried in a Veela form though, silly me." She retorted in a drawling voice. There was no trace of hoarseness in it, so she must have changed her instrument.

"Since you mentioned, why don't we start with your scars?"

"If they bother you so much, I can morph them away. Tiny changes, no burden at all." She said casually, with eyes fixed on her bare feet.

"Look at me."

"No, thank you. Never make eye contacts when an accomplished Legilimens wants something from you."

"Let's settle this once and for all because I do not enjoy repeating myself. I never cared what shape you chose, and I never will. Choose whatever you see fit, just not on my behalf. Is that clear now? "

"Noted, sir." Nymphadora looked up to meet his black eyes. Her mischievous tone and the choice of words reminded Snape of her Hogwarts days in his Potions classroom. Somethings would never vanish. They just hid deep down, waiting to be found again.

"Still waiting for the answer." He prompted.

"Werewolf mauled, obviously." Noticing the scowl on his face, Nymphadora added, "See for yourself. I'll summon the relevant memories to the surface, but don't dig deep or-"

" -one may not like the findings." They said it in unison and smiled at each other with warmth in the eyes.

"I recall that you just acknowledged me as an established Legilimens?" He arched an eyebrow as a challenge.

"Accomplished, to be accurate." She mocked him to cover her uneasiness, yet failed.

Snape knew what it felt like to relive the worst memories and how agonized it would be. As much as he appropriated that Nymphadora was willing to share her deepest fear, he didn't fancy the idea of her suffering.

"You don't have to. I'll believe what you say." He held his gaze into her dark brown eyes.

Suddenly, emotions flowed over her eyes. Sadness, fear, fury, insanity, agony, all the negative ones together, turned her eyes into an abyss, drawing Snape down. She shut her eyes and said weakly, "I can't, or it will become too real for me to bear."

"Would you mind if I have a drink before we start?" she asked apologetically.

"Take your time. My evening schedule is fully open."

Nymphadora raised to her feet and left. She returned with a glass of Baileys in her hand before long.

Perched on the armrest of his chair, she drank from the glass sip by sip in silence. Finally, as if she had summoned all the courage required, she drained the glass in one shot.

"May I hold you when you do it?" Her voice quivered, barely audible.

The question irritated Snape beyond ˈmeasure. Why she had to act so polite now, like they were just acquaintances and all those midnight visits had never happened?

_"Technically, you and Nymphadora are mere acquaintances. You have slept with Bellatrix, Narcissa, Hermione, and other nameless women, not HER. You two are not intimate, no physical contact at all."_

" _She invited me to perform a Legilimency on her of her own accord. That is a higher level of intimacy."_

_"Yet she had to ask for permission before she hugs you. A twisted pair."_

Without warning, Snape reached out, grabbed her by the waist, and pulled her into his arm.

She gasped at the sudden, then laid her head against his neck.

"No need to ask." He breathed to her ear. He didn't realize precisely how skinny she was until he held her tight. All magic came at a price. The persistent morph was draining her. He could feel her tension at first, and was pleased to see her at ease now.

"Thank you, Severus. I think I am ready."

He drew his wand out. Before casting the spell, he gingerly traced the scar on her throat with the empty hand. She was shaking with fear at his touch. Lacing her icy-cold fingers, Snape calmed her, "They are just memories from the past. They can't harm you unless you let them. I'll be as gentle as possible. I promise."

She nodded against his chest.

_Legilimens!_

As a trained Auror, she was familiar with editing memory for presentation. For some reason, she had muted them.

The scenes Snape saw were organized and chronological, but nonetheless confusing.

_It was a full moon. A werewolf was chasing Nymphadora in the woods._

_Nymphadora drew out her wand aiming to attack. A bigger werewolf-Snape recognized it as Lupin-jumped out and snatch her wand, and the impact of the blow knocked her off balance._

_Nymphadora fell to the ground, and the first werewolf jumped on her, mauled her with sharp claws, sending blood everywhere._

_A silver light covered Nymphadora, and she disappeared._

_Andromeda was attending her dying daughter._

The show's over.

"It doesn't make sense. I am under the impression that werewolf mates for life and will protect the chosen mate at all costs after the bonding ritual. You married him."

"Werewolf expert, are we? Pity, you jumped to the wrong conclusion that marriage equals bonding ritual. I was the cost, not the mate."

No words in the world could describe the bitterness in her voice, and comforting was not Snape's strong suit. He just held her tighter.

Nymphadora pulled away, retreated to the carpet, and wrapped her arms around herself. "I guess it's all my fault. I had it coming."

"Forgive me for not seeing so. Do enlighten me!" He just could not hold his tongue. _The werewolf married her, yet he intended to murder her. Yes! In his opinion, disarming her in a werewolf attack equals committing the murder himself! How could she really think it was her fault!_

"How much do you know about Metamorphmagus?"

"Not much, except for the bits you shared. Why?"

"Similar to werewolf, Metamorphmagus is not human. We shouldn't pretend to be one. You're **WHO** you are. We're **WHAT** we are."

" **We** are who **we** are. **He** is what **he** is!" Snape corrected her automatically. He couldn't tolerate that she still thought her and Lupin as "we".

Instead of entangling with the pronoun, Nymphadora continued, "I was relatively young back then and tried so hard to fit in, pretending I was a normal witch with special gifts. While Remus was struggling to stay with his human side, denying the inside wolf. I felt close to him."

"He was not **Young**. " Snape spat.

"To be fair, he did tell me a million times that-"

"Oh yeah? It didn't stop him from marrying you, did it? " Snape interrupted her irritably. _Couldn't she just stop defending Lupin?_

"Like I just said, Remus was also struggling at that time," she signed deeply and lost in thought for a while, "I lost him long before our wedding, when the headmaster sent him to the pack. Running with his kind made him finally realize werewolf is not human. They are different in a broad spectrum. The truth shook him to the core. You know, he spent more years pretending than I did, and he couldn't just give it all up. It's so hard for him, especially when he met Milla, his mate. He felt ambivalent, I guess."

_So, he married you and used the marriage as his anchor in the wizardry society. How typical! A hypocrite indeed!_

"I found out Milla eventually. I really shouldn't have. Being a Metamorphmagus sometimes is a curse. Have you ever wondered why I can wear a shape that people desire the most? Because I can visualize it in their eyes on occasions, orgasm included." The last two words squeezed out through gritted teeth.

The truth was out there.

_"One shall never start looking as one may not like the findings."_

_That's how she found out Lupin's mate. Oh, the trauma, deep to the bone._

_That's why she never looked into my eyes during intercourses._

_That's the reason she transformed into Lily. But she was WRONG!_

Nymphadora was crying with her head hidden in her arms. This was the first time Snape saw her letting all her defense down, vulnerable as a child.

He bridged the gap between them and bent down to stroke her hair. He had witnessed countless emotional breakdowns in his office, yet still felt awkward comforting people.

_Should I hold her? Or, should I just leave and give her some privacy?_

"Emotional breakdown is not good for a convalescent patient. Let's call it a night. Anything I can do for you before I go?" He forced these words out, patting her thin back gently.

Without looking up, she stretched forth a bony hand and grabbed his suit, "Stay."

This time, Nymphadora didn't ask.


	11. The Mate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, there is something left unsaid.   
> Now, it's the real full disclosure.

There was a first time for everything.

The first time he slept with Nymphadora; the first time she looked into his eyes during sex, brown met black, from uncertain to rejoiced; the first time she whispered his name to his ear; the first time they spent the night together.

Nymphadora woke up in the morning and found Snape gone, leaving a note at the nightstand, "Got to work, breakfast in the kitchen. Send me a message if you feel like another home-visit."

She smiled and texted him, "Please drop by after work. Join me for dinner."

"I didn't think you are the cooking type. Impressed, I'd say, although the food did look a bit creative." Now they were sitting on the carpet, face to face, each with a glass in hand. It was rather cozy by the fireplace after enjoying Nymphadora's cooking.

"I prefer improvising when it comes to cooking, learned some tricks during my drifting time in the muggle world. I was quite a drifter before the whole Susiel Pond situation. So, where are we now? Oh, Milla."

"You see, curiosity killed the cat, and it nearly finished me off. I tracked Remus down on a full moon and confronted by his angry mate. She knew me all the time and resented me for occupying most of her mate's time. True to the legend, werewolf is a jealous species, as well as a protective one-"

"Lupin has no right to snatch your wand; he might as well kill you himself." He snapped a remark.

"Severus, the truth is, I don't know which spell I was about to cast at that time. I did have enough hatred and malice in me for the Unforgivable. Remus only acted on instinct to protect his mate. Nothing wrong from his part. I guess I did want her dead back then, vise verse. " She said softly and gave a reluctant smile.

_Again! Defending the werewolf!_

"I owe Mad-Eye my life. I would never live to tell you the story if it were not for his relics, you know, no wand, open throat, and all. He left most of his enchanted artifacts to me in his will, and I always wore a bracelet as a remembrance. Lucky for me, it contained a teleport spell, which got me back to my mum's. " She said in an even tone. Her lips curled into a sad smile when mentioning her late mentor, with tears welling up. Nymphadora, Alastor Moody's favorite and protegee, he watched over her even beyond the grave.

 _And for that, I'll always be grateful to Moody._ Snape asked thoughtfully, "Was it her back in the woods?"

"Alas, werewolf 's tracing magic trumped the concealing ability of my kind, for now." She sighed in defeat, "Metamorphmagus is not as rare as people think. It's just next to impossible to track adult Metamorphmagus if they don't want to be found."

"Aren't you an adult now?" Snape arched an eyebrow.

"Not by the standard of my kind, far from adequate. Remember the time I couldn't morph at all when I was down? I was such a child back then, silly and naive, affected heavily by emotions. It won't happen now. Long story short, she marked me as her prey with magic I can't counteract now. She can sense me within a certain distance. I'm not quite sure exactly how close it is, but unfortunately, our paths crossed more often than I'd like recently." She drained her glass in one shot, "full disclosure, the end."

"Do you want her dead now?"Snape inquired. He needed to know her attitude before taking action. He didn't fancy the idea of a dark creature hunting Nymphadora.

She thought for a long while. "I guess not." As if reading his mind, she added quickly, "don't get me wrong, it's not what you think, for Remus or something. I did want to kill her years ago. Yet I couldn't, mainly for Remus. But now, it was just like things in another life, too remote for me to care much. I don't want to risk the present for the past. Promise you won't do anything to her, ok? I'll avoid all the night shooting on the full moon. I can't bear the thought of losing Y, losing my psychiatrist." The concern in her voice was too deep to be mistaken.

 _Then I can bear the thought of losing you?_ _Sorry, I won't make a promise that I have no intention to keep._ His upper lip was curling, "Let's just hope your paths won't cross again."

She knew him well enough to understand it was the best she could get on this topic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very comfortable nor good at writing detailed sex. Like I said at the very beginning of the fiction, English as a second language. So, if I did try to write sex scenes, with my limited vocabulary, all you read would be an article in anatomy. No one would like THAT. To spare my embarrassment, as well as your torture, I'd like to kindly ask you unleash your Imagination for the night event those two shared.  
> They made up. Nymphadora found herself in Severus' eyes, so naturally, their relationship moved to a new level.   
> Just to make sure I expressed those clearly:)  
> Your comment will make my day. I'd like to know what you think about it.


	12. Christmas Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A thoughtful present could lead to a presumable disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put a lot of effect to design the present Severe prepared for Nymphadora.  
> This chapter was inspired by the song . I also borrowed a few lines from it.

Snape had to admit that Nymphadora made an excellent point. It was illegal to hunt down werewolves in the absence of good reasons after the war.

_Thank you, Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures!_

He couldn't provide a good reason without the exposure of an undead Auror, and he certainly wouldn't jeopardize his proud record of successfully-avoiding-Azkaban by conviction for murdering a werewolf, not to mention the werewolf in question was Lupin's mate. Entangling with death eaters sounded like a delightful recreation comparing to dealing with a vindictive dark creature.

All things considered, he settled for keeping Nymphadora safe. As long as she wouldn't encounter another attack, he could be a happy man. Being a former Defense Against the Dark Arts professor and Death Eater, Severus Snape did know his way with dark arts, as well as how to counter them. Besides, he also had a few associates who could offer whatever knowledge he lacked at a reasonable price.

A few purchases from Knockturn Alley and several owl-mail exchanges got him all he needed. The Potions Master was confident of his skills in alchemy and inscription. If Moody could benefit his protegee with an artifact after his tragic departure, Snape believed that he was capable of providing equal protection, at least. After all, he got one small advantage - still breathing.

Werewolf 's tracing magic might trump the concealing ability of Metamorphmagus, but he would be dammed if he let it trump the determination of the Double-Agent-Who-Survived.

He'd checked on Nymphadora frequently but only stayed for two nights since the full disclosure. It required lots of research and experiments for this artifact to be a Christmas present.

He stayed for the night on the day he finished it. It was five days before Christmas.

"What's your plan for Christmas?" He asked as casually as he could manage.

"A trip to Rome with Matt." Before Snape made any response, she added rapidly, "Matt Pond, Susiel's only family left. He's a troubled young man, basically lives in a private rehabilitation center. I made a pact when I took her identity. You see, Metamorphmagus cultivate our abilities by impersonating human beings, and it doesn't work when we temporarily borrow. When one lives another individual's life, one also shoulders the owner's responsibilities, and Matt is mine."

"Then I'd better give you the present now." He Apparated to his house and back with a small box, neatly wrapped in midnight blue paper decorated with silvery constellations.

She carefully opened the box and found a tiny ear cuff in it. Illustrating the symbol of Andromeda constellation, it was made of silver, covered with thickly dotted exceptional runes, and studded with three gemstones. An amethyst symbolized Alpha Andromedae, its brightest star, while for Gamma Andromedae, a colorful binary and a popular target for amateur astronomers, was a tourmaline, and a garnet resembled Beta Andromedae which was a red giant with the color visible to the naked eye.

From her Auror training, Nymphadora was fully aware of what function the jewelry had: silver for anti-wolf, runes for concealing incantations, and three gemstones for healing, enhancement, and protection. It was a masterpiece and extremely powerful. Yet she treasured it for another reason. Snape had crafted it to the constellation that shared the same name with her mother, Andromeda, who suffered the most through her only child's tragic marriage and consequent leaving. 

She held the ear cuff close to her heart and closed her eyes as if feeling the intangible connection with her dear mother. She missed her so much.

Hate to break the aura, but he always did what he must. "Still missing one ingredient to completion. Your blood is required," he said gingerly, "preferably from the tongue tip." 

Bridging the distance between them, Nymphadora put her arms around his neck and pecked his cheek affectionately, "Severus, will you do the honor?"

"Gladly," he held her waist, pulling her closer, and placed a deep kiss on the lips.

She explored his mouth with her sweet tongue, soft tip brushing his teeth gently, then lingering in the space between his incisors. Tongue to tongue, chasing, entangling, and intertwining, with sensation.

Finally, he placed one hand on the back of her head to steady her, and bit the tip tenderly, just enough to taste a trace of blood. Her blood. Strangely, he was aroused by the taste, sweet, metallic, mingling with exotic magic, and full of pure energy.

He could feel that with every beat of her heart, the blood was pumped out to the artery, flowing to her whole body, and then repeated the everlasting circulation. The music of the pulse, the singing in her veins, and the resonance it trigged in his own system composed a ravishing symphony that drove him crazy. The moment felt like an eternity. He wanted more. He wanted her.

Lost in the entrancement, he deepened the bite unconsciously and sucked harder and harder. Instead of withdrawing, she held him tighter and moaned with joy. It was until he noticed a trail of blood dribbling down from the corner of her mouth that he realized what he had done.

_Blood Magic. People never change. You are who you are, a Death Eater addicted to the dark arts. You always know that, don't you? Now, she knows._

The moment was gone. Snape pulled away in panic, afraid of what she might react.


	13. Blood Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blood Magic was not evil itself. It depended on the user and usage.

Nymphadora seemed a little bit perplexed as he broke the kiss all of a sudden, and then it just took one glance at his face that she realized the reason.

With one hand still at the nape of his neck, she withdrew the one holding the cuff to her mouth and licked it with her still bleeding tongue till one half was covered with dark red. Then she lifted it to him. "Your turn." There was no fear or aversion in her voice, which made him astonished.

"I am no stranger to dark arks, maybe not as skilled as you are, but I enjoyed the resonance in my blood as much as you did." She looked into his eyes with knowing and acceptance in her own, "And in case you didn't notice, I'm not the one who broke it in fear."

"Blood magic is a taboo in most wizardry communities." Snape murmured in amazement. He still vividly remembered Lily's disgust at his fondness for dark arts, which inevitably led to the termination of their friendship."And given what happened, I'd say it's for good reasons." _I reacted like a thirsty vampire intending to consume you._

"As far as I am concerned, _what just happened_ is you trying to protect me with blood magic." Now she sounded a little bit offended. As if reading his mind, she continued wryly, "I might have fought _FOR_ the light, but not completely _WITH_ it. Severus, you don't know me well enough, and I'm sorry if I somehow misled you into thinking me as a white lily."

 _Was that jealous he detected_? It would be a lie if Snape denied that he was glad that Nymphadora was also an insecure and jealous type, just like himself. Maybe they did have more in common than he thought. "Don't take it wrong, but I really can't associate you with any flower." He retorted, while took the cuff from her hand. He pulled her into his arms again, hold her tight, and rested his head on her shoulder. He just didn't want her to spot the joy in his eyes, cause he wasn't ready for this, to have a woman who could understand him more than he ever dreamed of.

"Good, cause I am not, and never will be." She breathed into his ear, "I also insist on having your blood on the jewelry so that the alarming spell can work both directions." Feeling the slight flinch of his body, she giggled softly, "Told you. I'm no stranger."

The wicked witch didn't even bother to hide her complacency, and Snape felt obliged to give her credit for her competent knowledge on ancient runes since he had deliberately inscribed that spell as inconspicuous as possible, which enabled him to know the accurate location if Nymphadora was in danger again. 

He signed, "I wouldn't think otherwise." This time, he didn't try to hide his admiration."Care to join me together to finish the ritual?" He let go of her and drew his wander.

"Gladly." She smirked, using his exact word.

Snape cast a nonverbal spell to cut a tiny incision in his ring finger and dribbled blood over the cuff until it was all covered. On the count of three, they muttered the paternoster in unison, and golden lights ejected from their crossed wander tips directly to the jewelry in his palm. Illuminated by the lights, the cuff absorbed the blood covering it. In a few seconds, there was no trace of any blood, only a shiny silver ear cuff left.

"Allow me." He tucked the locks behind her left ear and gently placed the cuff on her auricle. It fitted just perfectly.

Once the jewelry settled, Nymphadora felt a warm sensation rushed all over her, and an intangible rhythm indicating the very existence of the man whose blood now mingled with hers. Now she could understand Remus more, for if his bonding ritual had a similar effect on him as Snape's blood magic on her, it was hard to resist. It felt like an anchor, which made a drifter stable.

"I was planning to buy you a present in Rome, yet nothing could compare..."

"I'd prefer your presence to your present." He cut off bluntly.

"What's your plan for New Year's? I'll be back then." She supplied hopefully.

Hesitantly, he replied, "Headmistress always invites me over to Hogwarts for the New Year's Gala."

"And you are not going to invite me? They always encourage guests to bring a plus-one and welcome muggles. At least they did the last time I attended." Nymphadora inquired with an arched eyebrow.

With an equally arched eyebrow, he challenged her, "Given the attendees, I doubt you will go with me even if I invited." _I don't think you want to be in the same room with the resident Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, and you know he will be there for sure. But oddly enough, he had never brought his mate after you left. Out of respect or guilty? More like the latter._

"Are you asking?"

"Are you going?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll end this story in the next one or two chapters. I'm thinking about using Nymphadora's POV to write the next one and let her have a closure with Remus. Believe it or not, I do love Remus and always hope he has a happy ending. I just stop believing he can find it with Nymphadora, 'cause two drifters can hardly stick together for long. *REALLY HATE Book 7 where Remus ran away from his pregnant wife!


	14. New Year and Beyond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nymphadora met Remus for the last time  
> The end of the story

Snape was almost certain that he would go to Hogwarts alone, again. Apparently, his date decided to stand him up, not that he had put much hope in it per se.

Just before he was about to Apparate, he heard a small 'Pop' behind him. Turning around, he found Susiel Pond in a deep V-neck red dress.

"You're right on time." He observed, "Are you sure about it?"

"Hate to give any witch the wrong idea of you being available." She quipped, only half-jokingly.

"Yeah, or they will throw themselves on me. How silly of me not see that coming." He drawled with heavy sarcasm, then checked her up and down, "Interesting dress. Trying to impress someone, are we?"

She bridged the gap between them and pecked on his cheek lightly, "And you're in your best dress robes."

"It's my only set." He told a barefaced lie, "Apart from the dress, is it wise to go in your long-term identity?"

"A decent man like Dr. Prince deserves a fair lady for company, and I highly doubt Susiel Pond is well-recognized in the wizardry society." She put her arm in his, "Besides, I do want to make my point once and for all. Side-along, shall we, darling?"

Her mischief never ceased to amuse him. Holding her tightly, he played along, "We shall, darling."

They Apparated to Hogsmeade and walked to Hogwarts. Snape had to admit that Nymphadora was a nature actress, for she acted exactly the way a muggle should be when visiting the magic world for the first time. Yet she had spent more than 30 years here. Was it another gift of being a Metamorphmagus?

As if sensing his thought track, she said in a low voice only he could hear, "It's not so hard, you know. To me, it's another life. This IS the first time for Susiel. I almost forget I was once your student."

"Just don't forget that you can't Apparate within Hogwarts." He warned her meaningfully. _When things get bad, Nymphadora does have a tendency to flee._

"Darling, I don't know what you're talking about." She batted her eyelashes with the innocence of a schoolgirl.

Nymphadora's POV

I don't know why I changed my mind at the last minute. To my defense, I didn't accept his invitation. All I said was, 'Just give me the time, and I'll meet you at your place if I want to go." And I didn't want to go! I didn't think I'm ready to see HIM again.

But the thought of Severus being alone in the Gala made me sad. Few people like him and less genuinely wish him to be happy. He deserves happiness. People should know he has built a decent life from scratch. People should see him with someone. I want to make him happy. So here I am, heading to the grand hall, knowing soon I'll confront my living nightmare. Maybe it's a good thing I come with Severus.

I was rather shocked when I saw him in his best dress ropes, almost to the same level that when I ran into him the first time: Severus Snape in a suit, a practicing psychiatrist, no less.

How can a man change to another identity so seamlessly wearing the same face? He doesn't even bother to introduce Ployjuice! Come to think of it, Severus has a knack of adapting. Whatever life throws at him, he always does what he must and feels comfortable of it, death eater, Potions master, Hogwarts Professor, double agent, Dumbledore's murderer, backstage hero, and now, a muggle psychiatrist. Unlike Remus or me, he never runs away when things go wrong. I want to know his trick! Maybe that is the reason why I revealed my true identity to him. I mean, I could have walked out of the door and switched to another psychiatrist, couldn't I?

I've been drifting too long, from one identity to another. As a result, my life is a bunch of scattered fragments instead of an integrated chronological record. I tend to forget who I am if I stay in one identity for too long. It fears me.

Somehow, being with him makes me feel stable. He's just like an anchor. No matter how far or how long I drift away, I always know where to find him if I want: back to the old days, his dungeon, and now, his office.

I didn't lie when I told him that for me, it felt like another life. I come here as Susiel Pond, and I still can't integrate Nymphadora's life and hers into one. I know the details of Nymphadora's life, yet I feel nothing when I'm in this shape, like I get to know her experience from a novel or something, instead of lived her life.

I don't need a psychiatrist to tell me it's not healthy, and according to Elder Metamorphmagus, I need to integrate all my long-term identity to cultivate the magic of our kind, to grow up truly. I must know who I am.

As we're getting close to the castle, I feel a twinge in my chest for no reason. I grab Severus' arm tighter, and he just gives me his trademark expression: his upper lip is curling! The git! At least he restrains himself from sarcastic remarks. I should take it as my consolation. Maybe it's high time to take advantage of my divided personalities and shelf the whole integrating thing for a while. Before I step into the castle, I draw in a deep breath, forfeit my cognition of the current identity, and say in a remarkably convincing tone, "I'm so excited to meet your friends, Shawn."

Judging from the twinkle in his dark eyes, he has understood my strategy and decided to play along. He leads me to the grand hall and gives me some brief introductions along the way as if he brings a real muggle date here. Being Severus, he keeps the tour short and dull, making Hogwarts less marvelous than it should be.

Professor McGonagall is clearly shocked when she sets eyes on me, "I thought you were joking about bringing a date, a muggle woman no less. Don't take it in the wrong way. You're both welcomed."

I shift my eyes between them, waiting to be introduced. Severus replies drily, "Well, this is Susiel Pond. As you can see, she is real. Susiel, this is Headmistress McGonagall."

I smell," Nice to meet you, Headmistress. Pray to forgive me. This is the first time I hear your name. Shawn seldom shares his other life with me. I'm so flatted he even invited me to this extraordinary party. May I say, your school is magnificent."

Professor McGonagall nods in a warm way, "Severus is a very private man and good at keeping secrets. I can tell you're a fine young lady from first sight. It's a pity I can't spend more time with you. Let Severus show you around. Again, welcome to Hogwarts, do enjoy yourself." With this, the Headmistress takes her leave.

Apart from the festival decoration, Hogwarts doesn't change much. Unlike the ever-changing muggle society, the wizardry world prefers permanent and honors heritage. I glance around and find many familiar yet strange faces, Professor Flitwick, Professor Sinistra, Kingsley, Harry, Hermione, the Weasley's, and some people from The Ministry of Magic. Great, as far as my eyes can reach, Remus is not here.

As my heart finally settles, a thought struck me: What I wouldn't give up to meet Alastor here. I miss my grumpy mentor every single day! He cared for me in his own way. Yet magic rule number 1: You can't bring back the dead.

I am lost in my contemplation when Severus whispers in my ear, "Looking for someone in particular?"

I pull a smile, "I am waiting for your introduction. It's social etiquette from where I belong."

He smirks, "You don't have to wait long."

Few students stay for the holiday, so it's not a crowed party, which means I have drawn considerable attention as a stranger in a red dress, not to mention Snape's date. I doubt he has ever brought a date willingly to any occasion. Wizards or muggles, human beings are equally curious and gossipy.

Molly is the first to approach us. By greeting Severus, she gets enough information about me to satisfy her curiosity. More people follow her lead. One may be fooled into thinking people really like Severus for that matter, but I surely know better.

After a while, I have been appropriately introduced to whomever cares to know me, and Severus has been "borrowed" away from me by his former colleagues. Needless to say, an interrogation awaits him. Those professors are anxious to squeeze more juicy details to entertain their dreary lives.

As much as I want to watch them annoying Severus, I'm not going to deprive the faculty of their rare amusement. After all, they may feel more comfortable to ask awkward questions without my presence, may even get an answer if Severus is really in a good mood.

Amused the vivid picture in my head, I decide to check the buffet and make myself occupied. As always, the house-elves did a splendid job. I am idling around with a glass of fire whiskey in my hand when I feel the ear cuff becoming warm. It only means one thing: A werewolf is around. To play safe, I've left my wand at Severus' house. A muggle is not supposed to carry a wand _._

 _**But I'm at Hogwarts, even Milla won't be crazy enough to attack me here, with all these witnesses**. I have nothing to worry about._ I clear my head and keep my pace, ignoring the now burning sensation.

"Dora." A hoarse voice calls behind me.

If it were a movie, what happened next would be shattered glass, stopped footsteps, stiffed shoulders, and possibly redden eyes, successively. It's not a movie, so I did no such thing. Instead, I keep moving at the same pace. I am far more mature to fall for a random call. Besides, I trust Severus' skill. As long as I wear the jewelry, there is no way a werewolf can detect me.

"Dora, stop. I know it's you." He doesn't give up, and I can sense him approaching, right behind me.

For he isn't about to do any harm, I'm not in physical danger. Thus, the alarming spell won't warm Snape.

"Dora." Now, he puts a hand on my bare shoulder. I have to stop. Swirling around, I glare at him with genuine anger and question him in a low but patronizing voice, "Excuse me, but do I know you?"

Seeing me stop, he withdraws his hand, "Dora, drop it, please."

Here he is, eyes fixed on me. He seems so sad. That naive Nymphadora was willing to sacrifice everything to ease his sorrow, to make him happy, yet failed miserably and ultimately. I am not her. I won't yield to those brown eyes. Instead, I look straight into his.

"You must have mistaken me for someone else, not someone dear to you, I gather. Or you just tried to hit on a woman with a pickup line even older than you?" I mock him with no mercy. From the pain on his face, I know that every word I said is a dagger in him. So, I do have learned something from Severus after all the time we spent together.

"Dora, you're dear to me, and..."

"People don't mistake a dear one." I cut him off harshly. His misery satisfies me greatly, but I need to get away from him now, cause Nymphadora is crying in the corner of my head, striving for taking control of the body.

"If you'll excuse me." I trot away, and he doesn't follow. I spot Severus in the far end of the hall and head to him as quickly as I can.

"Darling, where have you been? You won't believe it. A man hit on me with an ancient line!" I reach out for his arm and tell him what just happened with faked amusement.

Usually, he is not an advocator of showing affection in public, but this time he takes me into his arms and asks, "What happened?" Before I can answer, he said wryly, "Don't bother. Lupin is coming, for you, I assume."

 ** _Please don't push me away. Please don't suspect me!_** I am yelling inside.

Severus pulls away, releases me from his arms, but keeps a hand around my waist. His gesture makes me calm down a little. I turned around, facing Remus, but still cling to my date. 

Remus can't hide the disbelief on his face when he sees whom I am with. His eyes shift between Severus and me. None of us speaks.

Finally, Snape breaks the silence, "Lupin, my date just told me her encounter with a strange man. Well, I can't believe you managed to exceed your lower bound."

With Severus' presence, Remus composes himself and regains his mild manner, "My sincere apology, Severus. Your date reminds me of someone I hold dear."

"Forgive me if I can't associate her with anyone that might be dear to YOU." He drawls ironically.

Remus surely knows better than bickering with my date. He just ignores his insult and asks gently, "Would you please introduce us properly, Severus? It's not like we have new faces visiting Hogwarts every day."

"Remus Lupin, a professor at Hogwarts; Ms. Pond, MY date."

I almost chuckle on his perfunctory and possessive introduction. I feel wanted and loved every time Severus demonstrates his jealousy, possessiveness, and protectiveness, which was so rare in Remus' case. 

"I suppose Ms. Pond has a first name?" He seems to talk to Snape, but he is looking at me.

"Susiel, Susiel Pond. I'll appreciate it if you address me correctly next time." I just can't bear him calling me Dora one more time. That is a name used by my father, by someone supposed to love me, certainly not him.

"Duly noted, Ms. Pond." Remus is polite, as always.

"So, where is your date, Lupin? I am under the impression that you've found someone new to replace Nymphadora. Care to introduce her?" Severus just takes every opportunity to provoke him, and it works this time.

"My mate doesn't enjoy socializing with wizards or witches much, and she is not a replacement for anyone." Remus sounds distinctly colder at the mention of his mate.

"You do have a colorful life, Mr. Lupin. A lady's man, I may say." I just want to hurt him, because Nymphadora feels hurt.

At this moment, music starts, and people begin to dance.

Remus holds out a hand to me and invites, " May I have the honor? Severus, if you don't mind."

I am screaming inside! **_How dare he ask me for my hand? How dare he even come to talk to me?_**

"In fact, I do mind." "Sorry, I don't feel like dancing." Severus and I reject him in unison.

He doesn't retreat, "I insist. We don't want to make a scene, do we?"

He has a point. After all, I can't afford that he exposes my true identity in public. Reluctantly, I take his hand, "Just one dance, and you'll leave us alone?" Beside me, Severus lets out a humph.

"I promise." He leads me to the dancing floor.

We sway to the music, but I don't feel any joy dancing with him. Strangely, neither does Nymphadora.

"I know you have something to counter Milla's tracing mark, but that's not how I recognize you. Yes, I know who you really are, Dora, so don't try to deny it."

 ** _So, he knows it all the time! He knows his mate is hunting me._** Nymphadora's sorrow drains all the strength in me. I am too tired to argue with him. In fact, I am too tired to do anything. All I want is the music ends, and I can flee from this place as quickly as possible and never return! Severus is right about me: I have an instinct of fleeing.

"You're dear to me, you still are, and I regret how things ended up that way. I'm truly sorry, Dora. I know you hate me, and you have every right to do so. I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I just want you to know that I didn't recognize you when it all happened. I was detoxifying from Wolfsbane at that time. When I transferred, I lost all the human consciousness, driving only by animal instincts. All I knew at that time was my pregnant mate was in danger."

"Are you happy, Mr. Lupin?" Suddenly, I find my peace. Listening to his narrative, it feels a story, werewolf, and all. They are surreal to my current life. As for Nymphadora, she finds her peace at the word pregnant. She has long known that a Metamorphmagus is close to sterile with humans, and there is zero chance with a werewolf.

"We are. What about you, with Severus?"

"I've found what I have been looking for so long."

We enjoy the rest of the song in complete silence, knowing we have said all that needed to be said.

As the last beat drops, Severus doesn't waste a second to pull me into his arms.

"So, what do you think?" He asks me while leads my footsteps. He is a passable dancer if you ask me.

"I'm not in love with him, and I never will, if that's what you are asking." I lean to him for support, "I just think of a suitable present for you."

"Which is?"

"A nicely typed referral letter. I'll change to another psychiatrist after you sign it."

"You can't possibly consider firing me is a present for me."

"Severus, I intend to stick to this identity, and I want you to participate in my current life. If you remain as my doctor, I have to send all my housekeepers away before you visit. I can't invite you as a date for my social events. I mean, if you want it too. I'm not pushing you to anything serious."

"I have never considered a pubic relationship with Susiel Pond. I am so much older, and I am rubbish at relationships. But if It's something that isn't completely out of the realm of possibility for you, then I'd be lying if I said it was out of the realm of possibility for me." He is bubbling nonsense, which is adorable.

"Is that a yes?"

"I am not saying no."

I pause the dance and stand on tiptoe to kiss my git on the mouth.

We've never exchanged the L word, yet I feel content. Maybe with Severus, I don't need a declaration or commitment to make this relationship work.

Severus doesn't know that time is always on the Metamorphmagus' side, and as we mutual, we can die in the shape we desire.

I shall die in the shape that I live with him.


End file.
